You fell asleep in the sun (could have added that one to the List of what you Love). It was not yet past 8 pm but as you sank into the duvet in a worn set of grey PJ’s, the sun was all that you needed beyond that hot shower and a heat plaster.

You woke up shortly after midnight. All was dark and silent with the exception of a car that all of a sudden sped off. After that you couldn’t sleep. You walked downstairs to fetch something from the fridge as you had skipped dinner and your stomach was churning. But nothing seemed appetizing and in the end you settled for half a wafer (the Dutch kind). You had to brush your teeth again as the sticky (and sickly) syrup clung on to the enamel of your teeth. You tried watching another documentary, but decided against it and eventually settled on 8 hours of hailing storm on your Mac. It did the trick.

Morning came at 5.30. You read out loud Marcus Aurelius morning mantra. You went through your own variation of Hierocles’ circles, repeated the day in your head and decided what you needed most was self-control and some of that Sofia (oh yeah you sent her a whatsapp the other day, when you discovered you still had her number in your directory – she didn’t reply). And lastly you proceeded with premeditatio malorum, concentrating on that there is no fear and thus no fear of sleeping.

Three hours later you are on the train destination The Hague, the sun is shining. You smile…


Waiting for the train….fortunately the sun is shining