I truly don’t know how I could thank so many people coming to mine an my family’s aid. I learned so much and I probably needed those lessons…and more. You have given me that. In various ways, some perhaps not perceived as very welcome, perhaps one might even call my responses hostile. But we have pulled through. On Friday I attended a court hearing. I acted disrespectfully to the judge. I apologise. and I have no excuses for this. I can only say I am not good with tampering with severe pain and it took not only my breath way but my mind too. I yet again offer my apologies.

Two hours later I was at the doctor, but not receiving the right treatment. From there on it was a slippery slope. I also want to apologise to my business partners (as well as thanking you both) for having to drag me in and out of the shower naked in a semi-conscious state. But you saved my life. You helped me with my children and not letting once the true horror with paramedics and pain and screams, injections and heart monitors getting close to them. A – you are an angel. The pictures of a happy Sebastian makes my heart take leaps and it’s probably what it needs as it’s been hoovering as low as 35 on the heart monitor.

Iveta, my partner, you held your cool and rallied to my help…I will never forget and we will laugh at it all soon. Peter and team GetSocial, your kindness, messages cards and fruit basket (which I need desperately now) couldn’t mean more. I am truly honoured.

Sebastian, having you with me yesterday, dusting off your sandy feet in my hands whilst being showered with kisses – I couldn’t trade it in for gold. Your cuddles and unconditional love is like a thousand stars – you are my star Sebastian. I will leave it at that.

P, your love and support has been amazing. The apple never falls far from the tree.

And so I come to the one moment that changed everything. In an ICU unit, suffering kidney stones, kidney infection going into the blood stream, elevated blood and water levels, low oxygen levels, just a summary (and I can only thank the staff a million times for pulling me through and this county for the swift medical assistance I received)….I do recall the one line someone said when I was slipping close to oblivion and I needed to be stabilised if not I would suffer organ failure…surreal doesn’t even cover it.

BUT….and here is where you come in Victoria….you took my hand, in this purgatory I found a moment of peace and I fell asleep. I have no clue who took this picture, or if it was you, but it means everything for me now. You brought me back. I am so sorry for all of this that had to happen, but you showed me the deepest level of humanity which makes you you. And you bare the name as you always conquer – Victoria!

Love you all, and sorry for the condensed message but I am still not out of ICU yet ;). xxx

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