I thought about it….long and hard…did I ever have to write those fictional stories anymore (unless they really were fiction)? Perhaps not, perhaps from this day onwards, I wouldn’t be assaulted and neither would anyone close to me. Of course, random acts of violence occurs everywhere and no one is immune nor exempt of it.
So instead of lying, pretending and making my case through the disguise of “fictional” blog entries I could tell it as it really was. I toyed with the thought….it kept me up a few hours well past midnight. I watched an impassioned plea for the critical situation in Syria to the UN’s Security Council by Angelina Jolie. With her power base I still wondered if it would be enough. If her voice wouldn’t be drowned by the invisible power brokers that are put in place to ensure just so.
And still… When you are faced between the protection of yourself and those closest to you and that of your civic and moral duty. How do you choose?
I thought about how I argued my case based on loopholes in the system that were larger than a meteor crater. I had pointed it out, in fact to the extent I claimed with the Dutch legal definition of child abuse I was as guilty as any. I challenged the restraining order as I was in a position I had already broken it. I challenged these people behind their municipal titles to file a police report against me. Surely my crime warranted to be examined more carefully, as well as everyone else in a similar situation. They were according to the system victims, yet their juxtaposition had turned them into perpetrators of the worst kind, but were they ever brought to justice?
I am by far not without guilt. I bare more guilt than anyone else, especially when measured up against stone cold rationale. Even though I had pointed it out…and again do so here….publicly, as the apparent perpetrator of child abuse, and a far lessor felony, breaking a restraining order, I should – if not be arrested – at least be questioned.
My thoughts went to my teacher, to my mum, to Marcus Aurelius….and to everyone I could conjure up that took on the system knowing it would ruin their reputation, their livelihood yet stood up for something that was their duty.
So forget France, forget tomorrow, forget the next paycheck and let’s take this on. And let me tell you this….I have no anger towards anyone here, only towards myself for my idiotic and foolish attempts to repair and restore.
And my feelings towards the system that miserably failed people that needed the help the most? I can tell you this, you have not heard the last of me. To Mr. van der Hoek and to your superior Mr. Schneiders (the Mayor of Haarlem), I am still baffled that a paper pusher can sign a restraining order in your name when you have ties to the people involved. Is this what you call an impartial system? Perhaps you can clarify it to me, as well as the other processes and proceedings, some of them legal, which failed to address the core problem.
If one in 4 in this country has been subjected to domestic abuse according to various reports, and this is a world wide phenomena, I am utterly baffled that anno 2015, the Netherlands could not conjure up any support nor address the situation beyond a few inadequate reports. But as Joseph Stalin understood so very well…. “One death is a tragedy; one million is a statistic.”
The Face of Evil? I challenge you…