It’s late, approaching close to midnight. All is quite at home, with the only exception of a buzzing computer going into overdrive. I’m sitting on the floor, aimlessly watching it for what seems like an eternity. When I get up my back is aching and my legs are asleep. I massage them but they remain stubbornly painful. If my legs and feet are sleepy, my mind is not. Like my Mac it is buzzing with energy….thoughts, ideas, problems that have currently no resolution. I rarely feel this way anymore. That’s someone from a long, long time ago. Sometimes I wonder if she is a mere figment of my imagination. Yet here she is again, slightly altered, but fragments are noticeably there. And yet what should be tormenting my soul, only tickles it. So I decide to let it run free, whilst I cover the urban grid of my city.
I put on my running shoes, a warm turtle neck sweater, close the still restless laptop and with light steps sneak out of the front door. It clicks, barely audible. I imagine the household remaining quite and serene.
The first steps are heavy, my feet still tingling. But as I turn the corner of my street the sensation is gone and my strides are lighter, the pace picking up. I keep my gaze on the horizon, beckoning me to move further. For a Friday night the streets are quiet, almost silent as I run on the other side of Spaarne. The road less taken, the forgotten, the archaic, the desolate.
My energy is waning for a moment, and although I don’t want to surrender, the beauty of the landscape urges me to stop. I find a vantage point overlooking the river and centuries of sprawling history. And as I stand there I grasp it. I see Mr. Teyler as he proudly views his lifework of science. A young Ms Hodshon brushes past me, barely 19 and about to embark on building the most magnificent of homes in the city. This whilst the mighty Pallas Athene stands guard. Ready to defend her citizens like the true warrior she is.
Coincidence or providence. As I turn around and look at her, I hear a passage of Rumi
In love…nothing is eternal, but drinking your wine.
There is no reason for bringing my life to you, other than losing it.
I said, I just want to know you, and then disappear.
She said, knowing me does not mean dying.