Last summer holiday I made an agreement with myself to return to blogging. I started this blog some 5 years ago and the first years I blogged prolifically, in fact several times a day. I still wonder how I found time for it….but I did. Then, for a number of reasons, my blog posts started to dwindle. I suppose I didn’t feel like writing about a lot of crap going on (by that point my blog was already rather dark). So I stopped. In the beginning it was quite a relief. The hours I had spent on thinking up topics and eloquent sentences, I could spend on other more pressing matters. But if you are a (self-proclaimed) writer at heart, it is not an easy decision. And I started to feel it too. My daily blog dose, which had much acted as a relief, was gone. I made a few half-hearted attempts to revive it, but the long absences made it even more difficult to return. Eventually I not only lost the skill of writing, I lost myself.
I can’t say I have found either….not yet, but I am making a serious attempt at conquering my literary fears. You see, it is quite easy to write about the good, the beautiful, the fun and the exciting events. But when it comes to life as it truly is, the love, the fears, the failures, the trial and errors, well then it is not so simple anymore. I used to feel that I could write about anything, there were no barriers to what my fingers could type on my worn-out Apple keyboard. Everything was fair game, as long as it didn’t compromised my own ethics which meant I wouldn’t gossip or harm other people through it. That is the blog I want to revive. But it is so damn hard. It would mean saying goodbye to probably work coming my way. Or people having even more misgivings and opinions than they already have.
I am pausing a moment, thinking hard to myself…safe blog = boring blog, or Fuck it all = fun, mischief, with consequent opinions and gossip I would have to deal with. Well Fuck it! Let’s blog!
Let’s bare it all folks 😉