Monthly Archives: June 2011

I dreamt I found a lost seal on the street. Someone told me I couldn’t take it, that it would have to be left to natures cause. I protested with all my might and brought the seal home. He had the most saddest of eyes. So I nurtured it for days and it survived. Then strangelly I woke up to the lyrics of Belfast Child in my head. It’s quite surreal and I am still trying to figure out the meaning of it all…

When my love said to me,
Meet me down by the gallow tree.
For it’s sad news I bring,
About this old town and all that it’s offering.
Some say troubles abound,
Some day soon they’re gonna pull the old town down.
One day we’ll return here,
When the Belfast Child sings again

Brothers, sisters, where are you now?
As I look for you right through the crowd.
All my life here I’ve spent,
With my faith in God the Church and the Government.
But there’s sadness abound,
Some day soon they’re gonna pull the old town down.

One day we’ll return here,
When the Belfast Child sings again,
When the Belfast Child sings again

So come back Billy, won’t you come on home?
Come back Mary, you’ve been away so long.
The streets are empty, and your mother’s gone.
The girls are crying, it’s been oh so long.
And your father’s calling, come on home.
Won’t you come on home, won’t you come on home?

Come back people, you’ve been gone a while,
And the war is raging, through the Emerald Isle.
That’s flesh and blood man, that’s flesh and blood,
All the girls are crying but all’s not lost.

The streets are empty, the streets are cold.
Won’t you come on home, won’t you come on home?

The streets are empty,
Life goes on.

One day we’ll return here,
When the Belfast Child sings again,
When the Belfast Child sings again.

Needless to say I love books. It’s the one thing I need in my home – a room full of books, typically going by the name of a library, Ours is starting to get full and it’s in fact my aim to make it so – more of a reason to find a home with an even larger library (ours is quite small – about 16 m2).

So today I spent most of the afternoon trawling through bookstands and laying my hands on some 20 volumes. Everything from Jack the Ripper and Conquistadors to the Cobra movement, Jewish history and 20th century erotic postcards. It’s an amazing feeling leafing through old books, books once loved by their owner, books whose words have inspired and touched the hearts of their readers.

I just can’t wait to sink my teeth into them. But not until I’m done with the book I’m currently reading  – In Lucia’s Eyes by Arthur Japin.

Proud owner of heaps of books



My stomach is churning from hunger pangs, still not having had my breakfast yet. I woke up some 45 minutes ago when my husband and my little boy crashed through the door of the guestroom. I had only slept about 4 hours, finally succumbing to slumber after 6 am. It was already light for some time by then.

My sleep is intermittent at best. At worst it’s non-existant, as I fight a loosing battle with my nocturnal soul. So last night I removed myself to the guestroom in a selfish bid to get some sleep stretching into the afternoon hours. Alas my planning turned out less than accurate.

The plans for today are less than thrilling, but will shake my dazed mind into action. I have a heap of admin to take care of, and a synopsis that needs to be reworked based on the feedback I have got so far. I am truly grateful of this.

Ok, enough of rambeling but I hope you have oversight. More thoughts coming later…

I realise I haven’t been blogging for the last few months. As you can understand, reasons exists. Some I’m more willing to disclose than others. What I can say is that while succumbing to the flu which lasted the best of three weeks, I decided to write. I love writing, it’s been a passion since I was a little girl. I still hear my now deceased Swedish teacher from highschool, as he would announce the “Nobel Prize Winner” and my knees would quiver from both fear and delight of reading my essay to the class….

So I turned a simple flu into something of meaning and wrote my first novel, 77,000 words in the genre of drama/mystery. It’s a novel that bares recemblance to myself and the life choices ‘ve made but with an underlying historical pretext yet anchored in recent events. So far I am getting great feedback to it, and with the few people that might read this blog post I am asking for your help. Does anyone know a publisher or an agent I can get introduce to? Further I am looking for an editor that could edit the manuscript on a short notice. He/she must be native English/American (written in Brittish English though). Also if anyone is up for giving feedback, it would be most welcome 🙂 Just mail me on waldau.susanne[at]


The way I would see the book cover 🙂

In my hallucination
I saw my beloved’s flower garden
In my vertigo, in my dizziness
In my drunken haze
Whirling and dancing like a spinning wheel
I saw myself as the source of existence

I was there in the beginning
And I was the spirit of love
Now I am sober
There is only the hangover
And the memory of love
And only the sorrow

I yearn for happiness
I ask for help
I want mercy
And my love says:

Look at me and hear me
Because I am here
Just for that

I am your moon and your moonlight too
I am your flower garden and your water too
I have come all this way, eager for you
Without shoes or shawl

I want you to laugh
To kill all your worries
To love you
To nourish you

Oh sweet bitterness
I will soothe you and heal you
I will bring you roses
I, too, have been covered with thorns

~ Rumi