My rhythm has changed from late nights and 7.30 am wake-ups to early nights and waking up before 6 am. It’s not so bad actually. The gym is already buzzing with activity from jet lagged business people when I get there just after 6 o’clock. I do my usual routine for an hour before I get back to the hotel room for my breakfast. They have a wonderful spa breakfast here of egg white scramble, berries and yogurt. Can’t say I’ve lost any weight from my conscious choices, work-outs and alli popping but clothes are beginning to sit a bit looser which is definitely a good sign.
Being with your husband on a conference is of course great. You get to wake up together, have drinks and dinner and go to bed together. From the moment we met we promised to never be apart. With the exception of a couple of trips I couldn’t join, we’ve both kept to that promise. But lately I’ve come to wonder if it’s not more of a burden than joy. I kind of feel I am gate-crashing the party. When the guys have after-work drinks closing off a busy day, I feel more like an intruder than a member of the family. It doesn’t matter that I’ve grown with this company, had late night discussions with my husband and cooked meatballs for potential investors. I am an outsider who don’t really belong here.
At home, the office, which is only 2 minutes walk from where we live, serves as my scan and print location – at least until I find my own proper work space (I currently work from the dining room table). Every time I have to make the walk to pick up the scans or other paraphernalia which I’m in need of, the same feeling overcomes me. So I make a quick in-and-out, barely speaking to anyone. I often get the feeling I leave a slightly cold and aloof impression to my husband’s colleagues. An impression that is far from the truth but admittedly I am solely responsible for.
Last night I explain why I rather leave him to have his drinks and dinners with his colleagues. I am truly fine having dinners of my own and in all honesty I could call some friends in town too. But I am quite tired and the jet-lag has thrown my body in havoc (for those of you who don’t know I have an undiagnosed neurological condition which doesn’t sit well with prolonged periods of sleeplessness.)
He listens and assures me the sentiments are mine alone. Perhaps so…
He leaves for a breakfast meeting and I’m alone in the hotel room with Sebastian. In 15 minutes I have a call and then the day truly begins. Massage and a facial is on the agenda, followed by lunch and some shopping. Still have my eyes on that Dolce & Gabbana dress.
The bar where all the action takes place at night